​On being creative 2014/5

​Well, it's a problem. Challenging. I am trying to work to a new project title, self imposed, hopefully for an upcoming event. It involves Freedom. Liberty. It is so broad a topic I must condense it; and not be literal. Then I switch to searching for images of children in war as events in Syria, Iraq and Gaza unfold...they are horrific and yet the children are often so strong and beautiful...the contradictions are manifest.

​Why can't I paint lovely landscapes? I tried last summer for the local village exhibition (see Landscapes of the Cevennes) and pushed myself to experiment and enjoyed the process, but I am sure they don't have the power of my portraits...

​A pause...

​Creativity creaks when life intercedes. And life has...I have finally left Michael, my partner of 30 years. I am 69...​I am away from my inspiring calm Cevennes and thus my studio. Life has taken a turn and I must create in London for the while...the only positive I feel right now is the Miro saying revolving in my head, that creativity is an intellectual pursuit and it happens best in a city setting...so my easel crushed into the corner of my study will have to surfice for now.

​I am alive, I have water, shelter and my health. My loyal son is at my side. I am not bombarded by bombs, flachettes or white phosperous nor hunted down by snipers...only my mind is haunted by the pain of rejection and the sorrow of lost companionship. Love.

Dear friends sustain me.​

​Determined to prompt creativity into action I have visited the Late Turner (wonderfully expressively free); booked the Affordable Art Fair; arranged to see the Kasimir Malevich, then Anselm Kiefer with friends; I've joined the Arts Fund and bought half price tickets to relish in the glory of Late Rembrandt...I am feeling better just thinking of them all, later in life as am I, but still pursuing their art and craft...so onward...